FROM TRUTH TO WHOLENESS
I realized something about myself during one of those "let's challenge each other conversations with my husband this morning.
There is an aspect of my personality, although it literally felt like a curse growing up, that is actually the key to the treasured spiritual revelations I have received over the years.
Let me explain. I was a good debater growing up. Not because I was argumentative but because I could argue either side. As far back as I can remember, I could see the many sides of a situation and fervently argue support of each one with an unwavering conviction. Yes, basically it was impossible for me to view the tail side of a coin without being aware it had a head. Through my eyes, there was never one side to any scenario. Life was a kaleidoscope; tilt it just a little and there was a whole new view! In fact, it frustrated me that others couldn't see what I was seeing. Obviously, this "curse" served as a peace making tool to reconcile struggling relationships. But for me personally, it served as a hindrance to growth, an anchor restricting any controversial or possibly unpopular action I might be contemplating. You see, my lack of a strong and secure social and emotional foundation, wrapped up in a fear of being wrong produced a polarizing fruit in my responses. This gift of sight (being able to identify with all possible perspectives) prevented ME from identifying where "I" stood. Before I could make a decision to stand on one conviction, my internal spiritual adversary began to passionately and successfully argue the other side.
I can't tell you how grateful I was when I learned that the decision of which side of the debate to support was already made if I became a Christian! The guidelines in the church were clear about what or who was right and what and who was wrong! For the first time I could take a stand for what was True...I could choose a side (or so I thought)!
So this morning during our coffee chat I had an AHA moment. What I defined as a journey toward Truth (a Truth Seeker) was really a journey toward wholeness. And not just my own, but an instrument to reconcile others to their God-given state of wholeness. This is a journey that unifies the tail with the head. A journey that questions one side of the coin in order to give sight to the other. It isn't or wasn't a curse to overcome in my life but a gift to embrace. Finally, I understand! Jesus came as the Truth, yes! But He did so to show us the Way to unity, the way of peace (remember, His name is the Prince of Peace).
So what does that look like? I am embracing all aspects of who I am as the total sum of who I am. I am a multi-faceted, diverse woman. I have good moments and bad moments. I have successes and I have failures by all human standards. There are times I am boisterous and times I am withdrawn. There are times I feel like I can take on the world and other times I am down for the count. But it is ALL ME! No longer will I try to force my personality to fit into one side of the coin. I will extend grace, love and acceptance into my own life so that I will have it to give away to others. My belief is that when I allow you to be you, you will allow me to be me. Then, because we can trust each other, we will begin the process of tearing down the walls that have separated us. And with the walls demolished we will begin the journey toward healing our body and becoming whole.