To My Children...

To my Children…

I wish I could say that everything I did for you I did out of love, but it wasn't. I confess to you that I allowed stress, worry and even fatigue to make decisions for me. My choice to single parent was mine but you had to pick up my pieces. You did not choose that! It definitely added a dynamic to our lives that fueled many mistakes.

Would I change anything if I could "do it over"? Most definitely...Yes! I would care less about dirty dishes, unmade beds, school academics and all the other things that i thought were so important and care more about laughter, singing and cozy comfy moments. What I wouldn't change though is You! You are a gift of life to me, the true reason I was put on earth. If I accomplish nothing else....I was used to bring forth your heart and soul for such a time as this! I am so proud of the person you have become and the Treasure you are to others. Forgive me for not always noticing how amazing you are. I love you to the moon and back!

From Truth to Wholeness

FROM TRUTH TO WHOLENESS

I realized something about myself during one of those "let's challenge each other conversations with my husband this morning. 
There is an aspect of my personality, although it literally felt like a curse growing up, that is actually the key to the treasured spiritual revelations I have received over the years.
Let me explain. I was a good debater growing up. Not because I was argumentative but because I could argue either side. As far back as I can remember, I could see the many sides of a situation and fervently argue support of each one with an unwavering conviction. Yes, basically it was impossible for me to view the tail side of a coin without being aware it had a head. Through my eyes, there was never one side to any scenario. Life was a kaleidoscope; tilt it just a little and there was a whole new view! In fact, it frustrated me that others couldn't see what I was seeing. Obviously, this "curse" served as a peace making tool to reconcile struggling relationships. But for me personally, it served as a hindrance to growth, an anchor restricting any controversial or possibly unpopular action I might be contemplating. You see, my lack of a strong and secure social and emotional foundation, wrapped up in a fear of being wrong produced a polarizing fruit in my responses. This gift of sight (being able to identify with all possible perspectives) prevented ME from identifying where "I" stood. Before I could make a decision to stand on one conviction, my internal spiritual adversary began to passionately and successfully argue the other side. 
I can't tell you how grateful I was when I learned that the decision of which side of the debate to support was already made if I became a Christian! The guidelines in the church were clear about what or who was right and what and who was wrong! For the first time I could take a stand for what was True...I could choose a side (or so I thought)!
So this morning during our coffee chat I had an AHA moment. What I defined as a journey toward Truth (a Truth Seeker) was really a journey toward wholeness. And not just my own, but an instrument to reconcile others to their God-given state of wholeness. This is a journey that unifies the tail with the head. A journey that questions one side of the coin in order to give sight to the other. It isn't or wasn't a curse to overcome in my life but a gift to embrace. Finally, I understand! Jesus came as the Truth, yes! But He did so to show us the Way to unity, the way of peace (remember, His name is the Prince of Peace).
So what does that look like? I am embracing all aspects of who I am as the total sum of who I am. I am a multi-faceted, diverse woman. I have good moments and bad moments. I have successes and I have failures by all human standards. There are times I am boisterous and times I am withdrawn. There are times I feel like I can take on the world and other times I am down for the count. But it is ALL ME! No longer will I try to force my personality to fit into one side of the coin. I will extend grace, love and acceptance into my own life so that I will have it to give away to others. My belief is that when I allow you to be you, you will allow me to be me. Then, because we can trust each other, we will begin the process of tearing down the walls that have separated us. And with the walls demolished we will begin the journey toward healing our body and becoming whole.

Fake It 'Til You Make It, Really?

You’ve seen it, the church marquee that reads: ‘Come as you are'! Well I did, and I remember my first thought: “Finally, someone wants me just the way I am, how amazing is that?”. After all, since I had spent most of my life (well up to that point) searching for someone to accept me and want me in all my strangeness, it was an answer to my heart’s cry to actually find someone. And then to think….it is God!

In the beginning it was amazing! He loved me, I loved Him back - it was truly that simple. But somewhere along the journey “works” happened. The love I shared with God took a back seat to a misbelief that as a Christian, there were things I “should” and “shouldn’t” be doing.

So, as a Born-again Christian, I began working hard at cleaning up aspects of my behavior or actions that reflected my life “before Christ”. I passionately pressed in with God to defeat all the sins of my flesh like drinking, cussing, R-rated movies, non-Christian music, etc. while also practicing all the “Good things” a loving child of God would do. I began volunteering to serve on every occasion. I studied His Word and practiced praying for others. Eventually, I became a teacher of the Word. I engaged in passionate worship and loved dancing before His throne. By all church standards, I grew exponentially as a believer the first 10 years. Yet, internally I was still afraid, insecure, judgmental, walking in shame, needing the approval of man, seeking validation from others, and ultimately lost to who I was and the joy of living as a free, loved child of God. Oh, but even worse, I couldn’t admit I was lost and confused (honestly, not even sure I knew I was) without the fear of causing someone else to fall. During some of my most challenging storms I even doubted God’s love for me. Somewhere deeply rooted was a religious belief that His love was associated with how much I was willing to sacrifice and lay down for Him and at those soul-ripping moments….I didn’t want to sacrifice anymore. I remember once crying out, “Why must I die too, wasn’t Jesus enough?” And another time, “If this is Your Love than go and love someone else.” Life was happening and I grew so tired of the pain and striving it demanded to survive. I didn’t want to live for life after death, I wanted life now. Yes, I was asking the big one: “Is this all there is to life?”. My realization that doubt existed in my heart opened the door to questioning my heart toward God. How could I possibly love Him if I was struggling with a love for my life? How could I be a child of God if I didn’t want to deny myself certain experiences anymore? I began to fear I was going to have to choose between life here on earth or an eternal life with Christ.

Thank God my dilemma was no surprise to my Heavenly Father! By the Spirit of God within me, I now know I was brought to this point by divine guidance. This collision of soul and spirit would be the beginning of my sight and ultimately— my freedom!

(….to be continued)

Living Strong

DISCLAIMERS:

1) I am not against men nor do I believe women should overthrow or seek to dominate them.

2) Nothing would please me more than to see a man soar to his full potential and become the man he was created to be

3) However, I do not agree with the belief system that a woman must become less for a man to achieve his potential

4) In no way do I advocate that women rebel or give in to selfish ambition. Loving others as you love yourself and considering or deferring to others is a sought after Godly attribute.

5) I am fully aware that not everyone will receive what I present in the spirit of how I am giving it. No matter how something is meant, the receiver will always process it through their belief system. And, unless we are on the same page, you will probably read something into my words that was not intended to be communicated. I encourage you to not judge me and try to believe the best about my intentions.

6) Often when trying to make a point, only one side of an issue is presented. Therefore, know that there is more to what I am saying than you are receiving – it is not intended to be the whole truth!

7) Often when I refer to “man” I am not talking about a gender but a species

I know I have a passion to see women free to soar above the limitations society has put on them. So why do I hesitate to speak out or stand up for what I know is right? Once again it comes down to the fear of man and the labels we place on each other.

In my more than 30 years of living a Christian life, I have waited for opportunities to inject a brief comment here and there about the gender bias within the church walls. I admit it was usually as subtle as I could be in fear of being judged by my peers. Yes, the fear of man and my need for their approval goes all the way back to my lack of a father and the mountain of shame I had to find my way out of growing up (both physically and spiritually). I wish I could blame it on a Patriarchal society and the male dominance mindset when in truth, women judged me more than men did.

I think as women in the church we like hiding behind the men and holding them accountable for our insecurities and unfulfilled dreams. Surprisingly, even Jesus is used as a crutch to keep us from facing our fears and having the faith to move forward. After all don’t we believe that if He really wanted us to do something he would blow open the doors and speak clearly to our spirits? Maybe so, but then again, He might be waiting for us to have the faith to take the steps then He graciously comes along side us before we see the waters part.

So, “Am I a feminist?” That, my dear friends, is the question I have been asking myself secretly for years. By definition Feminism is the belief that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities religiously, politically, socially, and economically. Yes, I believe with all my heart and soul that God created all mankind equal (not alike but equal). And that His intent before the fall of man was for our individual gifts (not roles) to fit together to advance His kingdom. That meant where one was weak the other would be strong, that we would have each other’s back as partners in our growth and development, that we would build each other up in love and encourage each other, believe the best in each other and rejoice in each other’s victories. In the garden God provided ALL FOR ALL! It wasn’t until the fall that woman was placed under man’s dominion and her passion turned from God to her mate. Then came Jesus who redeemed (done deal! Not waiting for someone else to do anything) ALL of mankind back to their intended status with God in the garden. Yes, He paid the price for “the sin” that separated us with His blood. Unfortunately, our social evolution since the fall has not allowed for the fullness of what Jesus did to be experienced among His body. Even our ‘user friendly’ terminology such as servant-leader is a product of a man-made hierarchy that evolved from Eve’s seed of sin and man’s fear of releasing an uncovered woman into the world (after all, she can’t be trusted to not lead us all into sin again). I have heard it argued that the male leadership role is a product of the order of creation. Well, if that were true should not the animals be ruling over man?

Sometimes, I think we just grab for a reasonable sounding explanation for what we are really clueless to understand. Or, we just believe what others tell us without seeking out Truth?

Embracing A Vision!

“But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.” “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. (Luke 1:30-38)”

The impartation of the Word of God! Imagine, a messenger of God declaring the unfolding of God’s plan before you and speaking your significant role in that plan. What thoughts and interpretations Mary must have had as those words were spoken. She was about to agree to a pregnancy before her peers that was unexplainable. In her time, that meant having her wedding cancelled, being an outcast, possibly even stoned for fornication. Yet, she said, “I am the Lord’s servant.” She had to believe the path before her contained more than judgment and death; she had to envision herself standing at the right hand of her son as he defeated the Roman occupancy and seated himself on the throne of David. In order to face what was ahead, she had to see a bigger picture. Would Mary have agreed to the pregnancy if she were picturing Jesus’s torture and death? But 33 years later, the son she bore hung nailed to a cross! Where was the throne of David in his death? Where were the promises of God? Had she believed in vain? Then, on the day of Pentecost, while waiting in the upper room with the disciples, Mary once again received the life of the Son within her — the fulfillment of God’s promise to her.

How difficult it is for me to see the bigger picture sometimes. I receive a Word, and before I know it, I have fit it into a box of my own making. It is hard for me not to create a visual of Your promise as a goal, the purpose to my process. The vision becomes like a reckoning point to keep me on course. But when that vision seems to be dying before my very eyes, or moving outside my box, how do I keep from doubting?  I wrestle with unanswered questions. Did I not hear You correctly? Did I miss You? Was it all in vain? But no matter how I received Your Word or the Vision, the unfolding is not in my hands, but Yours. You knew my limited sight and chose me anyway. I must release even my perception of the vision to You. Your plan will unfold, but it does so Your way, Your timing. It is not a matter of, did I miss You, rather will I trust You? Will I hold to Your Word when the road ahead is blocked with detours? Will I be able to say, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me”?

Today, I release the vision I created in my heart to You. I pray for my eyes to see more possibilities than what my mind conceived and that Your purpose will unfold in my life with every step I take!

Living Wild - I Decide!

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." Romans 8:28 (AMP)

I remember watching the movie “Wild”. Like most who see it, I began thinking about the forks and bends in my own life (but then everything gets me thinking). Why is it that as humans we have to fight our way through adversity to discover who we really are? I am finding that it isn’t as much about adventure for me, as it is conquering something within! Rather we are male or female, young or old the sense of identity that comes with overcoming something that “appeared” bigger than ourselves. The “I can do it” foundation of our belief system solidifies and fortifies current and future endeavors when we begin to believe in who we are!

It doesn’t take much to throw any of us off course, but what we do with the detour defines the journey. Do we give up and turn around? Do we pitch a tent and settle? Do we allow the journey to define us? Or do we continue with eyes wide open taking in the unplanned horizon and exercising our God-given right to choose? To choose where we plant the next foot? Maybe I don’t have control over tomorrow, but right now, right here….I DECIDE! I DEFINE THE MOMENT!

Who am I? I am a story unfolding! I am an aging woman with chapters of life that branch off into an array of directions. But not one branch was a dead end, not one branch was birthed for ‘no apparent reason’. Yes, every shoot of my life culminated in my NOW! The very fiber of my being has been woven together by the unfolding choices of my life. NO REGRETS! NO TURNING BACK! NO GIVING UP!

Am I the woman God intended me to be? If I am ME…then yes! But if I am being who I think you want or need me to be…then no!

As my new season begins, let me encourage myself and anyone else reading to challenge the act of “mere existence” with a sense of PURPOSE! This attitude alone toward your car stalling, a job change, financial difficulties, relationship struggles or any other ADVERSITY will work “with you” and “for you” on the path(s) God wants to partner with you to unfold! Purpose gives life to every choice we make!

Separate But Always Together

“First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world. God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you. I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith. (Romans 1:8-12)”

As I go about my life, attempting to live each day to its fullest, some things, some people, get moved aside, put off for awhile. It is not that they are less important or less thought of, perhaps, just less demanding. Then that "awhile" turns in to "its been a long time" and distance separates our paths. But the love, the encouragement, the friendship does not die. These relationships I am talking about are not possessive nor demanding. They suppportively, patiently wait for the moments you have together. They know you and will always be there for you...NO MATTER WHAT! Friends may come and go, ministries come and go, but they remain...constant. These are not family members that have some genetic bond or commitment, no, they are the spiritual brother and sister placed there by God to lift you up, encourage you and fight for you when you can not fight for yourself. Soldiers come to know this bond on the battlefield. David knew it with Jonathan. I call them my "Silent Soldiers!" It has probably been the one thing I see good in today's technology, the ability to reach out and share my life with those who have been separated by time and space. I praise God for those hearts that do not grow cold with time but are ignited upon contact. It is strong in my spirit today to acknowledge you, dear friends. To let you know how deeply I appreciate you in my life. You know who you are, for you are the one that is for me. You are the one that has not and will not cease to be my friend under any circumstance. Let time separate us but it cannot erase the foundation we have. You are the building blocks Jesus has established in my life to bring me to this point. I want you to know your faith, your love, your friendship encourages me in ways you will never know. May the God of all creation reward your faithfulness today. I pray an abundance of joy and peace surround you and that our God will make a way for us to sit awhile together and encourage one another as we laugh, talk and share all that He has done.

Choose Love!

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalms 23:1-6 (NIV)

Today, I choose love! In a world where so many things don’t make sense, where the opportunity to live in fear, unforgiveness, anger and pain is so tempting….I choose love! For this I know…life is short! I can live it closed up and entangled by the darkness that seeks to surround me or I can believe and embrace every ounce of good I can find. This moment is all that is guaranteed me and those I love so I will dine at its table as one receiving a banquet before my enemies. I will savor every morsel to the last drop. I will mull over and cherish life and embrace the love that has been given me. I will not allow the darkness to overtake me and to rule today or the days to come. Today! I choose Love!

I Am Who I Am!

Make It So!

Do you ever have those times when you just wished things would happen or unfold without any effort on your part? You know what I am talking about. It’s like when Captain Picard turns to No. 1 and says, “Make it so!” If you could just do that, make it so. Suddenly, you don’t have to put hours in to working out in order to get in shape, or wonder how you’re going to balance work, school and family. Even the decision as to what’s for dinner suddenly takes no effort, poof it’s done! If only!

But no, life really isn’t that easy. It has been designed to require faith followed by action. As human beings we have the amazing adventure of life wrapped in hope ever unfolding around us. Can we? Should we? Will we? What if we fail? What if we succeed? There is an unending parade of question after question debating our every minute and either challenging or stopping our next decision. We say to ourselves, “Why do I have to put so much effort into life? Why can’t God just “make it so?” But here’s the problem, we may want someone else to do the work, but we want the choice. We want our freedom without the responsibility of the action. Funny thing is, you can’t have both! In order to have the benefits of freedom, you HAVE TO take responsibility for the actions.

So, there you have it. There are no shortcuts to life. If you want the success, you put in the effort and this is true for every area of your life. Parenting, Education, Physical Health, Relationships….they all will require work! Yes, work! You, not someone else will need to care enough to do what it takes. So, is there something you are struggling with today, something that you just wish God would “make it so?” Then get up, believe you can and do it! Tap into that supernatural power of God within you and push through to the victory. You can do it! And when you feel like you have nothing left to give of yourself and the finish line is not in range, remember this: “You can do everything through him who gives you strength.” (Phil 4:13)

Finding the Balance

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Heb 11:1)

 Lately, my husband and I have had a lot on our plate. There are many decisions to make and as usual, each decision is dependent on the outcome of another decision. However, at the core of all decisions is a dependency on a source totally out of our control. As we precede forward believing that “what we hope for” will unfold, we wrestle with how far do we walk in this direction without an answer? Is it “not trusting in God” to explore every alternative to unfolding the situation in our favor? How many “safety nets” can we put in place and still be walking by faith?

 This is a real and re-occurring issue in our lives. Balancing between “faith” and “taking action”; mostly because I am a “where there is a will, there is a way” kind of girl! I have always believed that there is nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it. But where does that leave room for faith?

 Let me tell you, I believe in the God I serve. I have seen His hand move and bring me out of situations that many others have been swallowed by. I have watched my life grow in many ways by depending on the wisdom His Word gives me. However, I do not believe He is a God who wants to control me or watch me be paralyzed by life. He did not raise a child who lives as if she can just sit back and let her Dad take care of her; then, when things go wrong, blaming Him for my lack and disappointments. On the contrary, James 2:17 says, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” That tells me, taking action and believing that I have been given what it takes to receive my heart’s desire…is Faith – Faith in His Love and Equipping of me. And, “without faith it is impossible to please God.”

 And if, I have done all that I know to do and the door closes; Faith says, “Thank you Father, for protected me from a mistake and missing out on a better way.” Faith….takes action. And Faith…receives the outcome!

Rescue or Rescued?

There is a popular teaching out these days to help men step into their calling in the home, life and walk with God. It is an amazing teaching based on helping the heart to “Come Alive.” Women too have gleaned from the encouragement to allow the soul to pursue the God-inspired passions of the heart.
Yet, there is one aspect of this teaching I have been pondering, challenging to my core. The belief is that the woman needs to be rescued; therefore, the role of the man is to rescue ‘THE BEAUTY.” 
It sounds right to me at first (I may “want” to be rescued…but do I “need” to be rescued). I have watched many women enter into relationships based on this need instead of giving God time to work out the character that unfolded the dysfunction. And too, I hear the frustration in a husband’s pursuit, “How do I rescue the beauty that doesn’t need to be rescued?” “What can I do for a woman that finds her way and strength in God and therefore does not need me?” It can be one of our enemy’s many plans against God’s children, PLACE THEIR IDENTITY AS A MAN IN THEIR ABILITY TO RESCUE OR SAVE A WOMAN! AND PLACE THE WOMAN’S IDENTITY IN A MAN’S WILLINGNESS TO SAVE HER! (How valuable is a woman when “her” man is not willing to make the sacrifce?)
If a woman has become strong in the Lord after years of His faithfulness to walk her through dark valleys and unsurmountable mountains, she is not likely to demonstrate weakness or neediness, NO, not when she has learned to lean on and trust Jesus. Christ completed her! Yet, I know for a fact this strong woman longs for a partner in the natural to share the beauty of her life. She seeks a partner that will KNOW HER as Christ KNOWS HER. She embraces the man that will see beyond all her quirks, wrinkles, temperaments, and soulish expressions and LOVE HER still. This love is not expressed merely by saying “I love you” but in a consistent demonstration of Christ-like love! That is: to encourage her when she is struggling with defeat, give her hope when life comes to beat her down, be strong in faith when she is emotionally weak, and most of all…believe the best about her when the ugliest parts of herself want to surface. Let her see herself through your eyes and let them be the eyes of Christ. Fight for her by winning the battle over your own character to put her heart before your own! And if you do, I promise, her heart will forever belong to you! No woman can resist what diminishes her flaws and develops her strengths.

His Joy, My Darkness

When I come to the place in my life that I am overwhelmed and my flesh cries out for satisfaction, sin is but a step away. Without effort I can find myself deep in patterns of worry or doubt. The path before me closes and the light at the finish line vanishes. Fear and hopelessness become my guides as I drag myself through life. This is what they call depression! It closes in like the setting sun. Slowly the light of day fades as the darkness takes over. Depression is short-sighted and cannot see past its vessel. It fears the light because it knows that “where there is light there can be no darkness.” With cunning arguments it persuades its capture the light is gone, that darkness is forever. Adamantly, it protects its greatest secret; the vanishing light is but a mirage in a time of drought! For where there is love, there is hope! And where there is hope there is faith! And where there is faith….there is a breakthrough! 

There is a light that no darkness can quench. It is the light of His love! When I fix my eyes on Him who endured more than my daily struggles that I might be free, I have hope! When I remind myself of the miracle at the end of His journey, I have hope! When I look past the darkness into the light, I have hope! Then…the darkness flees and the light begins to rise and joy overtakes my fear and hopelessness. And I begin to run, not walk toward the finish line!

Do not let the darkness win! Embrace that seed of joy within and run with it so that the light of life within you will rise up! Darkness will not defeat darkness....run toward life with every ounce of strength and it will mature within you.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)”

Through the Eyes of Love

Thirty years ago today God gave me a son. Today, I watch over his son. Life passing on from one generation to another is such a miracle! From the tones in our voice, the facial jesters, the shape of our toes, to the amount of hair on our head; each detail a reflection of the seed that gave us life. I take joy in each step my children and my children’s children take toward life. The stumbles and the victories are like family movies that replay in my heart as I look into the eyes of the next generation. What will they come up against? What part will I play in their journey? Will they know me? Will they seek to be with me? Will they cherish their time with me?

As I ask myself these questions I consider God’s heart. Does He see His Son in me? Does He remember our journey to this point with fondness? Does He wonder, “Do I enjoy Him?” “Will I continue to seek Him?” Malachi 2:10 tells me that God is a Father to all: “Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us?” His heart longs for children to know Him, to enjoy their time with Him as they seek Him with all their heart. Every part of my being understands God’s passion when I look into the eyes of the next generation. I want more than their holidays! I want to live in their heart! I want to be that place of joy and peace they run to when life is good and life is hard. I want to be a source of strength and an immovable foundation for the steps they take toward life.

God, today, I acknowledge You as my creator. I thank You for all that You have given me and cherish every moment we have together. I pray that I have been able to give to my children what You have given me…and that their children will reflect the inheritance of Your love in my heaert!

The Gift of Age

Where do I begin thanking and acknowledging people for all the birthday wishes? Thanks to Facebook it is impossible. I could just give everyone a blanket…THANKS, but you know that is not my style, so let me do it this way.

First, to all my fellow IIN students….thank you and I am so glad God has added you to my life.

As for all the acknowledgments from my high school buddies (and some as far back as Cherokee Elementary) we are beyond blessed to still be in each other’s lives. You are one of the reason I love Facebook! Just think about it, we have known each other for over 50 years! Unbelievable! We have watched the way of life go through so many changes together (we still had the best music at the greatest era in time). Thank you for being my friends and in my life.

Then there is this HUGE extended family of cousins! Yes, I came from a really big family with more relatives than I can count and I am sooo glad I did! You guys ROCK!

To add to those numbers, I heard from a great number of my spiritual family! God has knitted my heart together with many amazing people. I have had the pleasure to build life-long relationships with 3 different parts of the body of Christ and all 3 welcomed me with opened arms. And even when life removed me and dropped me somewhere else…you kept loving and receiving me. Like I said, I am blessed!

And then, there are those amazing women I call Daughters! Who would have known that after everything I demanded of you, you would choose to remain in my life. And not just remain, you wound your way around my heart and made yourself an extension of my very being. I love you! You will never know how much you have helped to shape and mold my confidence and hope in people. Thank you for being a part of my life.

And finally, my immediate family…nieces, nephews, sisters, children, grandchildren and husband; you have given me the strength to become the woman I am. You remind me every day why I would not change a thing. Without you, I would not be me! This independent, stubborn woman is so thankful she is interdependent on you! To say I love you is not enough! You are the love within me! You are the gift of life God gave me! For me, you are the ultimate expression of Christ’s love for me….I feel His love for me every time I think of my love for you. Thank you and thank God for you!

The Pioneer Spirit!

"The pioneer faith is neeeded as much in the world today as in any period of time." -- Elder I. Torn Perry

I love the word "pioneer." For me it is up there with words like: empower and freedom!  Early in my Christian journey I attended a church that spoke of the church's lack and need of a pioneer spirit. I loved the vision it gave me to "go where no others had gone before" (a little Star Trek fan for sure). I could see myself on this adventure to leave all that was comfortable and familiar to press on for the hope of something greater. At the time, as a single mother, that meant not doing things the way I had watched generations before me. It meant....breaking the mold! For me, changing myself and letting go of the comfort of the easy way out (codependency on a significant other) and finding the strength to become the person I wanted my children to be. My Pioneer Spirit would lead me to plow through a lot of wrong thinking and emotional junk while paving a path toward a stronger, more independent me. It would mean facing "my" fears and unknown obstacles in order to take possession of a land I wanted to raise my children in. It may not have been the prairie fields of the western front but it would be new territory for me and require a great deal of strength to venture toward.

The beauty of this day and time is watching women in the church on the move! The Pioneer Spirit is calling them up and forward to the front lines of life. This is not a women's liberation army that seeks to over-take or dominate men, but rather, they are choosing to no longer hide behind them. The church is challenging the beliefs of the past to occupy a better tomorrow. Christian women are no longer afraid to change or be stretched outside their gener-
ations of comfort zone. These strong pioneers are climbing religious mountains and struggling through emotional jungles in order to occupy the land promised them in the beginning of time…”a land flowing with milk and honey!” Yes, the promises made Adam were also made to Eve! She, the woman, has the same gifts, calling, promises and purpose as the man! God intended that they walk side-by-side in His garden, each giving to creation their special talents and strengths.

It is time to let go of what we have known and take hold of what has been promised! Rise up! Fight your greatest enemy…YOU! Become the amazing woman who is called to co-labor with man and God in dominion over the earth! Embrace your strength andbeauty and PIONEER into a land generations to come after will dwell in.

Just Do Something!

One of the reasons I can get so frustrated with us as humans is that we seem to so easily fall into complacency.  If we can take a pill, drive through for food, watch TV or even just read a scripture….than there is no need to reach for more. We settle into lives that require as little of us as possible while protecting our balanced solitude. In private we dream of more but quickly silence any urges to step out and actually “do” something. In our day to day life, we live vicariously through others, riding on the coattails of their experiences. Even our devotion to God can come down to reading someone else’s but to take the time to experience Him for ourselves, too much effort? Nike had it right! It is time to… “JUST DO IT!” Take a risk, shake up your life, and do something out of your norm. Live! Risk exposure to the world; what do you have to lose but your fear? I remember when I was young in my walk with God several of us would get together at a lake on a friends property. He had a very high tower in the middle of the lake with a diving board. Everyone would have so much fun climbing to the top and jumping, but not me. I was afraid of heights. I justified my inactivity with my desire to just relax and enjoy the sun. I spent most of the day watching the others enjoy themselves. Inside, I was so tired of sitting back and watching others, I wanted to join in. But my fear of heights held me back. Eventually, I went to a trusted friend and asked her to do me a favor. “If I am willing, will you go up the ladder just in front of me and when I get to the top, take my hand and don’t give me a chance to think, just take off to the end and jump….I will have to follow.” She agreed, and we jumped! It was exhilarating! And I am still alive! God breathed life into me not to sit and wait for the day I take my last breath, but to LIVE! To reach out and embrace every aspect of His creation with wonderment and awe. I no more want to live my life through others than I want others living their life through me. On that day that I stand before my maker I want to hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant. I know your heart and it was ON FIRE!” So we must ask ourselves, “Are we on fire for life, or have we settled for existance...riding out the years?” Maybe, it is time to shake things up in your life? What do you say, is there a ‘HIGH DIVE’ in your life? If so, it is time to take someone’s hand, and JUMP!

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. (Rev 3:14-18)

Feast Upon His Love

“I have come into my garden, my sister, my [promised] bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam and spice [from your sweet words I have gathered the richest perfumes and spices]. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk. Eat, O friends [feast on, O revelers of the palace; you can never make my lover disloyal to me]! Drink, yes, drink abundantly of love, O precious one [for now I know you are mine, irrevocably mine! With his confident words still thrilling her heart, through the lattice she saw her shepherd turn away and disappear into the night].” (Song 5:1 AMP)

What confidence in love resides in these words, Can you hear it? Not a hint of jealousy, or doubt but passionate conviction that what they share cannot be interrupted. Jesus, expressing in overwhelming joy the fulfillment of having captured the heart of His beloved. Oh, how stirred I am to know that I am His and He is mine. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate me from His love. As great as I might think my passion is for Him, it is but a spark next to His fire toward me. So long (probably since birth) I have search for this undying love and yes, as the song goes, “in all the wrong places.” But, to wrap my mind and heart around the unfolding Truth that the God of all creation has also been waiting….He waited, with great anticipation for me! And He invites me to take deep all that He has for me, to “drink to my heart’s content.” How can I ever again feel less than beautiful, complete and beyond a doubt….valued?

Sister, do not let your heart grow weary. No matter where you are or what is unfolding in your life, you are worthy of the King of Kings. The Son of God has chosen you and His passion will not relent until you are safe and secure in His arms. Open the door, quickly and let Him in. He will pour over you a love and acceptance that will wash away the pain and disappointment of the past and ignite in you a fire that will burn eternal.